


TSL - Beginnings

by Lachenna



Series: The Storm's Legacy [2]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:20:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29607948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lachenna/pseuds/Lachenna
Summary: A collection of short stories from the past portion of The Storm's Legacy AU.
Relationships: Kanda Yuu/Allen Walker
Series: The Storm's Legacy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175276
Kudos: 7





	1. Story 1

It was a normal day at the Order. Or rather, it was a typical unusual day. It had been five years since I joined the Order, and it still surprised me what I had come to accept as normal. I was in Komui's office to turn in a mission report. Timothy and Lavi came bursting in, being chased by Kanda. Things turned chaotic as they began to run around the room.

I moved towards the edge of the room to get out of the way of the chase. The last thing I wanted was to get caught in the middle of it, I needed to save my energy for later. I hadn't seen Kanda in two weeks, the sex that night was going to be long and intense.

Komui's attempts to send them away only made things worse. I didn't see which of them bumped into me. But everything went slow motion as I slammed into the bookshelf. The contents wobbled, including a few potion jars that were precariously close to the edge. I moved before they fell, but not fast enough. One of the bottles shattered as it hit my head. I was doused in the pink liquid and enveloped in smoke. Then everything went black.

.x.x.

When Lavi accused me of being particularly grouchy that morning I certainly couldn't tell him it was because I was horny. And when he started teasing me, saying that I was in a bad mood because Allen was late returning from his mission and I secretly missed him, well I certainly couldn't tell him that was true.

I never expected to fall in love with that white haired brat. And I certainly never expected him to love me back. But there we were, still together four years later, and I was as madly in love with him as I was the day I confessed.

Eventually Lavi's teasing got to be too much to ignore. And he got Timothy in on it. Somehow the fight that followed ended up in Komui's office. With four years of practice under my belt, not reacting to the unexpected appearance of my Moyashi was easy. I didn't even notice that he'd been slammed into the bookcase until the first potion hit the ground.

All activity stopped the instant one crashed into Allen. He hit the ground unconscious before any of us could react. Lavi reached him first, his trained eye taking in the broken glass and traces of blood in Allen's white hair. Timothy was sent to get a nurse, and Lavi and Komui began cleaning up the shards of glass around Allen.

I kept my fingers on Allen's wrist, monitoring his pulse. I knew without looking that the head wound wasn't bad enough to do any serious damage, my Moyashi had a hard head after all. The potion was what I was worried about. Komui's concoctions ranged anywhere from harmless to wacky to hazardous. And we wouldn't know which this one was until Allen woke up.

.x.x.

The next thing I knew, I was laying face down on the floor. "Allen? Are you ok?"

My attempt to respond resulted in a coughing fit. Something on my head felt really weird. I tried to push myself up to a sitting position, but a hand on my back stopped me. "Don't move, Moyashi. They're still pulling the glass out of your hair."

I could hear the concern in his voice, even if the others could only hear irritation. It didn't help me relax, there weren't a lot of things that worried Kanda. "What happened?"

"You got hit with one of the psycho's potions."

"I know that, Bakanda. What did it do?"

"We don't know yet." This voice belonged to Lavi. "You're bleeding from a couple cuts on your scalp. We have to get the glass shards out before we can bandage them. Once that's done we can figure out what it did."

I sighed and fell silent. The next voice belonged to the head nurse. "Keep him talking."

"Is that really necessary?" I was tired and didn't want to do anymore talking.

"It is." It was still the head nurse speaking. "Head wounds can be tricky, we need you to stay conscious."

"Ugh, fine." For lack of a decent topic, I finished my mission report. Komui asked a couple routine questions that I did my best to answer. It was distracting, but not enough. I was aware of every glass fragment being pulled from my skin.

The glass was gone by the time I was done talking. They helped me sit up, making sure I did it slowly enough to not do more harm. Then the head nurse was leaning over me. The cuts were cleaned and examined. "They're all really minor. Nothing worth worrying about. You're going to be fine."

"Relatively, anyway." I couldn't help glaring at Komui. "What did that potion do to me?"

"I don't know." I wanted to throw something at Komui for the chipper way he said that. "But there's at least some good news in that you don't appear different, there's no animal ears or weird hair growth. So the real question is: do you feel any different?"

"Right now all I feel is pain coming from my head. Can't you figure out what it was from the bottle?"

Komui shook his head. "Unfortunately the bottle is completely shattered, so I can't tell which one it was."

"Did you see it before it hit you?" Lavi helped me to my feet and walked me to the couch.

I started to shake my head, but instantly regretted it. "Not very well. I think the bottle was plain, I didn't notice anything special about it. The liquid was pink."

"Was it a fluorescent pink or a dark pink?"

I blinked at the strange question. "It was more of a light pink. Like strawberry ice cream."

On cue, my stomach rumbled at the mention of food. I ignored it. Figuring out what had happened was more important than eating at that moment.

Komui seemed confused. "Are you sure? I don't recall making any like that."

"I'm positive."

The next thing I knew, I was hauled from the couch and dragged to Komui's laboratory. He ran a few tests on me, then announced, "Well nothing's wrong with you, so it must not have worked. Guess you were lucky."

I glared at him. "I'm never that lucky."

Lavi laughed. "I wouldn't say that, Allen. You do have a dozen cuts on your head, and you were unconscious for a while. The potion may not have worked, but you certainly didn't escape unscathed."

.x.x.

Waiting to be alone with Allen was going to drive me crazy. I wanted to know how he was really feeling, and he certainly wasn't going to say that in front of the others. Honesty with his feelings was still something he struggled with. But he wouldn't lie to me.

When I finally got him away from Lavi, I dragged Allen to my room. Though 'dragged' is the wrong word. He was incredibly willing to follow me. Getting him to talk was a different story.

"Honestly Yuu! I'm fine! My head stings a little from the glass, but nothing else is wrong." I scowled at him in the way I knew would make him keep talking, and it worked. "Well, physically wrong. Wondering what that potion did to me is going to keep me up at night, but that's nothing for you to worry about."

I couldn't help laughing. "Yes it is. I worry about everything concerning you. You are _mine_ after all."

Allen laughed as he got in my face and pushed me into the wall. "Careful with that possessive tone, Yuu. You might start something you can't finish."

I captured his lips and pushed him onto the bed. "Oh I know how this is going to end, Moyashi. And since you've already admitted that you're not going to be able to sleep tonight..."

.x.x.

I spent the next week on edge, looking for signs that something was wrong. But when I continued to feel nothing different, I forgot about it and moved on. Komui's potions never lasted longer than a day or two.

So when something strange happened several weeks after that, I didn't connect the two.

I was on a mission with Lenalee when it happened. It was an akuma extermination, nothing too difficult. My eye let me know we were close. I activated my Innocence as I turned to tell her.

Only my Innocence didn't activate.

I gaped down at my left hand, tried to activate it again, and once again it didn't respond. _That was weird._

"Allen? You stopped in the middle of the road. Is something wrong?"

I blinked at her, failing yet again at activating my Innocence. "Yeah, umm. My Innocence won't activate."

She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me to the side of the road. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I've tried several times now, but nothing happens."

She looked me over, noticing that my eye was still active. "And where are the akuma?"

"Further ahead. The edge of town, by the river."

She nodded and activated her boots. "How many?"

"Too many for you to handle alone, if that's what you're thinking."

"I have to try!"

I grabbed her arm, accidentally taking out my frustrations with my Innocence on her. "No, you don't. They don't know we're here yet. If we back off now, we can call for backup, and get someone else out here to help."

Lenalee sighed and deactivated her Innocence. "You're right. Sorry."

We walked back to the inn and she pestered me with questions about my Innocence the whole way. There were no answers to her questions; I had no clue why it wasn't activating. We called headquarters, I opened a gate, and Lavi and Kanda came through to help.

.x.x.

Getting yanked out of my meditation session did not put me in a good mood. Learning that it was because Allen and Lenalee had run into trouble on their mission, that just made it worse. My worry for my Moyashi was thankfully taken as annoyance. The worry died when the emergency turned out to be "there are too many akuma for them to handle", that was pathetic. I expected better of Allen.

We traipsed through the ark, arriving at the inn where they were waiting. "Alright let's get this over with."

"Allen. Stay." Lenalee spoke like she was talking to a dog.

"But-"

"No! No buts! Your Innocence doesn't work! You have to stay here!"

_The Moyashi's Innocence doesn't work?!_ "Oi! What the fuck? Why weren't we told about this?"

Allen just gave an annoyed gesture. "I'm probably just tired or hungry. It's not a big deal."

Lenalee smacked him upside the head. "Your Innocence won't activate! Of course it's a big deal!"

"She's right, Bean Sprout. You need to sit this one out." Lavi grabbed Allen's shoulders and began steering him away.

He wrenched himself away. "But my eye still works! I can still help you with this!"

In the end he got his way. He was allowed to come close enough to where he could detect the akuma, but far enough away that they wouldn't be able to detect him.

Between the three of us the fight was easy. Which was a good thing because we all were distracted with wondering what was wrong with Allen's Innocence. Afterwards we literally dragged him kicking and screaming to Komui's office. I felt a little bad for throwing him to the wolves, but it was drowned out by my concern for his wellbeing. I needed to know what was wrong with my Moyashi.

.x.x.

Komui took great delight in examining my Innocence and running tests on my body. When he was done, I was escorted to Hevlaska's chamber. I did my best to hold still while she examined me, but the urge to squirm away was strong.

"I don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like it before. Allen's Innocence has gone completely dormant. It's not active at all."

I blinked at her. "Why would it do that?"

"I can only speculate that it's trying to keep itself from draining you. I have no clue why it would do that though. And there's something else. There's another Innocence fragment inside your body."

"How can I have a second Innocence? Isn't that impossible?" I threw a scared glance at Komui, but he was lost in thought and wasn't looking in my direction. This whole thing was bringing up unpleasant memories of the time that sentient Innocence tried to absorb me.

"It's not trying to synchronize with you, it's just there. I've seen something similar happen once before, but that exorcist was female."

"Why would her gender make a difference?" Komui finally spoke.

"The second Innocence fragment belonged to her unborn child. And that's clearly not the case with Allen."

Komui nodded, deep in thought once again. "Is there anything else you can tell us?"

"No, that's everything."

"Thank you."

For the umpteenth time that afternoon, I was dragged from a room. Komui took me back to his lab. I was made to sit down while he looked over the tests he'd done earlier. "Get on with it already, Komui. I can tell you have a theory."

Komui sat in a nearby chair, deliberately out of arm's reach. "You remember that potion you got hit with?"

"The one you determined didn't work?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes that one. I was wrong before. It did do something to you."

_Of course it did. I knew I couldn't be that lucky._ My frustration made it easy to ask the question, but if I had been paying better attention to Komui's expression, then I would have known to be scared. "What did it do?"

"It gave your body a functioning uterus."

"Huh?" I didn't know what that was, but I didn't like the way it sounded.

Komui sighed before he explained. "The potion restructured your internal organs to make it possible for you to conceive and bear children."

_Yeah, that's definitely not good_. "... And why are you just discovering this now?" As soon as the question was out, Hevlaska's words echoed in my head. I knew what Komui's answer was going to be.

"Because you're pregnant, Allen."

I got up to storm out of the room. Komui's next words stopped me in my tracks. "You've been throwing up a lot lately, haven't you? And having trouble eating? Like just the thought of food is enough to make you want to throw up."

My fingers fell from the doorknob. "How did you know that? I haven't told anyone that I have the flu."

"It's not a flu, Allen. It's called morning sickness. It's a symptom of your condition. Proof that you're pregnant."

It felt like I was underwater. I couldn't breathe. "You mean this isn't some elaborate joke?"

"Allen, you heard what Hevlaska said. There's a second Innocence inside you. That means that your baby is an accommodator. I would never joke about something like that."

I felt my knees turn to jelly. Komui caught me before I collapsed and helped me onto the examination table. "Allen, I know that you're having trouble processing this, but I need to examine you and the baby. Will you be able to hold still?"

I nodded briefly, then looked away. He unbuttoned my shirt and began to feel around my abdomen. I squeezed my eyes shut before the tears could fall. For some reason the feeling of his fingers poking and prodding at my middle hammered everything in. I was pregnant.

When I finally found my voice, I was surprised at the first question that came out. "What if I don't want it?"

Komui's fingers froze. "You don't have a choice, Allen. An Innocence fragment has already attached itself to the baby. Any attempt to abort it is going to fail."

"That's not what I meant." I had already assumed that I couldn't have an abortion, if it was possible then Komui would have suggested it right away.

The look Komui gave me was odd. "Then you've decided to carry the child to term?"

"No." I stared up at the ceiling. "I simply already figured out that I don't have a choice. I'm still coming to terms with that, and I certainly haven't decided anything."

"Of course." Komui's fingers began prodding my abdomen again. "To answer your question, after you have the baby, you can either raise it yourself or you can give it up for adoption. But before you think about either of those options, you need to talk to the baby's father."

I bolted upright. _That's right. Kanda's involved in all this._

Komui spoke before I could get any words out. "Look, for you to have become pregnant, you had to engage in anal sex with another man. And while I'm curious as to who you would let do that to you, the whole thing is a can of worms that I don't want to touch. If I am to protect you in all of this, then I have to remain ignorant of your sexual activities. And that means I can't know who got you pregnant, understand?"

I nodded. I didn't particularly want to tell him that I was sleeping with Kanda anyway.

At Komui's prompting, I lay back down so he could finish the exam. When it was over he suddenly started babbling. "You need to go pack. Make sure it's all clothes that are comfortable and loose. You'll need them to be able to fit through as much of your pregnancy as possible. I'd also advise you to not cut your hair while you're gone. It should help you hide that you're male. You-"

"Komui? What are you talking about? Where am I going?"

He stared at me for a moment. "Oh, sorry. I got ahead of myself. I'm going to make arrangements for a house for you to live in."

"Why?"

This time when Komui started talking he wouldn't shut up. "We need to get you out of here as soon as possible: we can't let Central find out you're pregnant. I'll tell everyone that you have an illness; the earlier incident with your Innocence should make a good reason for why you would need to be quarantined. They wouldn't want something that affects Innocence to spread among the exorcists. It'll be easy to tell them that Kanda's immune. Now I know you'd rather be with Lavi or Lenalee, but I can't send either of them, so Kanda's who you get. And before you try to convince me to let you go alone: you'll need someone around who can protect you if the Earl finds you."

I nodded numbly as I tried to process everything he had just said. He continued to talk. "Now go pack. If anyone asks about what happened earlier, tell them to come talk to me. Don't tell anyone you're pregnant. Except the baby's father, he should know what's going on. Oh, but before you do that, send Kanda here. He needs to be briefed. I won't tell him you're pregnant, you'll have to do that after you get to where you're going."

Komui shoved me out of his lab, and I wandered away, a variety of thoughts swirling through my head. I wondered how I was supposed to tell Kanda I was pregnant _before_ I left, if I had orders to not tell Kanda until _after_ we left.

.x.x.

I was worried about Allen after the incident with his Innocence. But he dodged every single one of my questions. And when he told me that Komui had a mission for me, I certainly didn't expect to be ordered to protect the Moyashi while he was under quarantine.

I managed to hold my silence until we arrived at the house Komui had set up for us. We didn't just take the ark to get there, we also took several different trains, even doubling back at one point. Apparently Komui wanted to make it especially hard for anyone to follow us.

The Moyashi had acted strange the entire trip, and it was really starting to get to me. I didn't like having him keep secrets from me. "What the fuck is really going on, Moyashi? You sure as hell aren't sick!"

Allen sighed as he settled into a living room chair. He wouldn't meet my gaze. "Do you remember that potion I got hit with last month?"

"Of course." I snorted. How could I have forgotten?

The Moyashi's face scrunched up like he didn't know what words to say next. "Well it ... messed with my insides."

I blinked at the vague statement. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that when you and I had unprotected sex that night, you got me pregnant."

I don't know how long I stood there just staring at him. I couldn't even form a coherent thought. "What?!"

"That look on your face? Replay that feeling every second of the day for about a week and you'll be where I am." He yelled out something nonsensical in frustration and buried his head in his hands. "No, scratch that. There's no way you could be where _I_ am. _You're_ not the one that this is happening to. _You're_ not the one throwing up every day. Or going through something that you never in a million years would have thought could happen to you. You don't have to-"

"Allen!" His babbling was giving me a headache. He shut up immediately. I may have been freaked out, but I hadn't missed the tears that were pricking at the corners of his eyes. "You're not making any sense. Do you really expect me to believe that _you're_ having a baby?"

"No, I guess not. But it's the truth." The stray tears that had fallen were wiped on his sleeve. He smiled and got up from the chair. I was wrapped in a tight hug and he buried his face in my neck. "And it doesn't really matter if you believe me or not. You can call Komui, he'll tell you I'm not messing with you. Or you can wait till I start showing, but it shouldn't even take that long for you to be convinced. The morning sickness, mood swings, and food cravings should be more than enough to get you to believe that I'm not making this up."

I pulled his hands away as they started to drift south. Mood swings would certainly explain why he'd just dramatically gone from angry to flirty in a matter of seconds. I needed to change the subject. "Assume I buy that, then what's all this for?" I gestured at the room around us. "Why lie about being sick and run from the Order?"

"Not the Order- Central. And it's for the same reasons we've been hiding our relationship for the past four years." He sighed and hugged me tighter. "As for the house: I guess you could say it's an apology from Komui. If it wasn't for his potion we wouldn't be in this mess. He sent us out here so that I can have the baby in peace. He's going to buy us as much time as he can. We won't have to go back until we're ready."

.x.x.

I wish I could say that I became a loving father right away. It took a week of dealing with a temperamental Moyashi for me to cave and get the story from Komui. The rest didn't click until around the time he started showing.

That first week had been bad. Allen and I weren't on the best terms. We weren't fighting, but my inability to accept that he truly was pregnant had caused a gap between us. If I had known that calling Komui was going to fix things so quickly, I'd have done it that first day, when Allen first suggested it. Because once I was able to accept that he was pregnant, things became so much better than they'd ever been.

I was living alone with my Moyashi. There was no sneaking around, no hiding from obnoxious rabbits. We could make out whenever we wanted without the fear of getting caught looming over us. There were no missions to pull us apart, no wondering if the last time I saw Allen was going to be the last time I saw him.

So when the Moyashi decided that he was going to keep the baby, I didn't argue with him. Even if the idea of Allen raising a child was ludicrous. Even if I thought children were annoying and gross. I liked how things were between us, and if having a child around was what it took to make it stay that way, then that's what I would go with.

That mindset lasted four days.

We were in bed one night, nothing sexual, just the two of us laying together. Allen was wrapped in my arms, his back against my chest. He was absently playing with my fingers. I couldn't see his face, but I knew from the action that he was lost in thought. "What's on your mind, Moyashi?"

He sighed deeply. "I was just thinking that you're weird."

It was said without insult, like he wasn't really aware that he had said it out loud. That didn't stop me from being offended. "Excuse me?"

Another sigh. "You're so possessive. You hate it when people touch your things. You get insanely jealous when people flirt with me. And God forbid someone ever take your hair tie."

He laughed briefly. "I've told you several times that I'm not something you can own. And you never listen."

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

He moved my hand like he was going to let go, but instead he placed it on his abdomen. There was a small yet distinct bump there. I tried to pull my hand away, but he held it in place. "You may not be able to claim me, but this baby _is_ yours. You can be as possessive as you want with her. Yet you won't even acknowledge her. You avoid everything having to do with her."

I opened my mouth to deny it, but it was true. Allen spoke again before I could think of anything to say. "I know that you don't understand my decision to keep her. I don't expect you to. And I know that I'm asking a lot from you, especially since you've already blown my mind by staying with me through this. But I want you to love our daughter. I want you to be her father, not just the guy dating her mother. I-"

When I found my tongue I couldn't help interrupting. But what I said surprised me, it wasn't the question that had been running through my head. "'Her'?"

"Yeah." He sighed for what felt like the thousandth time that night, and moved my fingers along his belly. "I know there's no way to know the gender until she comes. But I feel it in my bones that our little one is a girl. We're having a daughter, Yuu."

I don't know why, but that made all the difference. Not that the baby was a girl, but the way he said it, ' _we're_ having a daughter'. That's what he'd been trying to say before he started rambling, when he was teasing me about my possessive side. It wasn't just his baby, it was _my_ baby too. It was _my_ child that was growing inside him.

The hand against his belly that had felt so awkward before suddenly didn't feel like enough. I rolled Allen onto his back and knelt over him. When I grabbed the hem of his shirt and exposed his abdomen, the look that flashed in his eyes was full of fear. I kept my eyes locked on his as I leaned down and kissed his baby bump.

It was a weird sensation, my lips against the firm skin, but the love I felt for my Moyashi was feeding my newfound love for my unborn child. This was no longer about putting up with a baby to keep Allen happy, but about loving and raising a child together.

The shocked expression on his face was priceless. I knew he was thinking about how out of character the gentle action was. He sat up suddenly, forcing me to lean back. He captured my lips in a fierce kiss.

When he finally pulled away he was gasping for breath. I smirked at him until he was able to talk. "That was a sudden switch. What changed?"

I frowned to hide my embarrassment. The Moyashi always went straight for the question I didn't want him to ask. "You'll think I'm stupid."

He laughed. "I already think you're stupid."

"I guess that's true." He was definitely expecting an answer, there was no way he'd let me get away with changing the subject. I would just have to suck it up and tell him. "Until you started talking, I hadn't realized that the baby was mine. I mean, I knew that you got pregnant because we... But I..."

I paused to figure out the words for what I was trying to say, but I never got that far. Allen's lips were pressed against mine, his fingers wound into my hair. He pulled me down on top of him, and once we hit the mattress we were done with talking for the evening.


	2. Story Two, part 1

I stared down at the address in my hand for what seemed like the millionth time. It was indeed the address for the house I stood in front of. The small pale blue house with white trim looked like every other house on the street. It was a pretty but plain neighborhood, nothing noteworthy about it. The town itself wasn't much different, being located in a remote area of northern Catalonia. My exorcist uniform had drawn a lot of attention in the train station; I could see now why my mission orders had included "change into street clothes as soon as you arrive".

It was a courier mission. I was to deliver a package to the occupants of the blue house. It had only taken me a few hours to get there. It was incredibly simple. Yet I had been told the mission would take two weeks. That left two options: either something strange was going to happen the second I rang the bell, or my brother was giving me permission to take a little vacation in this nondescript town.

I both hoped for and hated that second option. It was no secret that I was depressed. And it was no secret why. Allen and Kanda were my best friends, and I missed them dearly. It had been two years, three months, and eleven days since Allen had been diagnosed with his mysterious illness and whisked away to quarantine. Aside from an initial phone call from Kanda, saying they had arrived at their destination, we hadn't heard a word from them since.

So it was that first option that was running through my head. If I had talked to the villagers, I wouldn't have been hesitating. I would have known exactly who lived in the house, and would have been pounding down the door. Instead I checked that crumpled paper for the one million and first time, and looked around nervously. I mentally prepared myself for anything, and rang the bell.

There was a scuffle, and what sounded like two men bickering. Then the door was yanked open. I was completely unprepared for what I saw. Standing in front of me was none other than Kanda Yuu. And he looked just as shocked to see me.

We stood there staring at each other. A voice from inside the house called out, but I was too stunned to register it. Then the door was opened further, and Allen appeared. He smiled that bright smile I hadn't seen in forever, then he pulled me into a hug. We laughed and cried, and Kanda just stood there glaring at us until we pulled apart. "What the fuck are you doing here, Lenalee?"

"It's nice to see you too, Kanda." I rolled my eyes, he hadn't changed at all. In fact, with the exception of Allen's now shoulder length hair, neither of them had changed at all. "My brother sent me to-"

I didn't get another word out. The door was slammed in my face.

.x.x.

"Bakanda! What was that for?!"

He scowled at me. "Moyashi. There's only one reason why she'd be here. It means it's time to go back. I don't want to go back."

I sighed. He had a point. I didn't want to go back either. "That's still no reason to slam the door in her face. It's not Lenalee's fault her brother is psychotic."

There was a pounding on the door. "Look, I don't know what you think is going on, but I'm just delivering a package. I didn't even know it was for you. All I had was an address."

I gave Kanda a look that said "I told you so" and opened the door.

.x.x.

When the door reopened, Allen smiled gently at me. "Sorry about that, but you know how Kanda is."

He let me in and led me to the living room. It was as unimpressive as the outside of the house. But it was a hundred times warmer than the December day was. I sat on a chair, and dug into my bag for the package. I looked up at Allen. "Have you two been living here for the past two years?"

He nodded, but didn't say anything. Kanda had come up behind him and continued to glare at me.

"And you're both still alive?"

Allen laughed a little. The look on Kanda's face could almost pass for a smile. I found the package and held it out to Allen. He reached for it, but froze when there was a thud from upstairs.

He bolted away, taking the steps two at a time. My confusion only worsened when I heard what sounded like a baby crying. I looked to Kanda for an explanation, but he ignored me.

When Allen returned he was holding a small child in his arms. She had her arms around his neck and was sobbing softly into his shoulder. He was rubbing her back and telling her repeatedly that everything was ok.

I could do nothing but stare at the scene in front of me. I was completely taken aback by what I was seeing. It was hard enough to picture Allen and Kanda living in a house together. Adding a child to the mix was beyond weird. It was much, much too weird to be true.

"Moyashi." I couldn't tell what Kanda's expression was saying, but I knew it was because of me.

"I know." Allen sighed. "But she had a nightmare. I couldn't just leave her alone."

He turned to the child who had grown silent. He brushed a few strands of navy hair out of her face and adjusted her so that she was facing me. "Hey, Eri. This is my friend Lenalee. Can you say hi to her?"

The girl brightened and waved at me. "Hi! Hi!"

It was easily the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. Her teary silver eyes sparkled, and her smile revealed a mouth full of tiny little teeth. There was just the slightest hint of Asian in her features, and her pale Caucasian skin still had red pillow lines pressed into it.

Allen laughed as he placed her in my lap. She wrapped her little arms around me. I couldn't help smiling back at her. "Hi baby."

I looked up at Allen. "Who-?"

He laughed again. "This is Erika. She's twenty months old."

I looked down at the little girl then back up at Allen and Kanda. "This may seem like a dumb question, but why do the two of you have a child with you?"

Allen's smile fell. He came a little closer and started stroking Erika's hair. "Eri, sweetheart? Can you help me take off your shirt?"

"Yes Mommy." She nodded and helped Allen unbutton her dress. It was every bit as adorable as her smile.

They slipped the lilac fabric off her left shoulder, and I gasped at what I saw. Her entire chest and shoulder area, about where Kanda had his tattoo, was covered in rough red skin. It looked just like Allen's left arm used to. I reached out tentatively and brushed my fingers across the green cross embedded in her chest above her heart. It made me want to cry that that beautiful little child was the host of a parasitic Innocence.

Kanda broke the silence that had fallen, while Allen fixed Erika's dress. "Eri's an orphan from the village. The Moyashi brought her home with him one day. He'd seen her shoulder and couldn't leave her alone."

In retrospect, it was a terrible lie. Erika looked far too much like the two of them, and nothing like the ethnicity of the townspeople. And the location of her Innocence was a dead giveaway. But I bought the lie. There was no reason back then for me to suspect that she was theirs biologically.

Erika started squirming, so I set her down; it was clearly what she wanted. She immediately ran over to Kanda. She threw her arms in the air and shouted, "Up!"

He laughed as he picked her up and started tickling her. Her beautiful giggles filled the air. I could feel Allen start to laugh, and I knew it was at me, at whatever dumbstruck expression was on my face. "It was love at first sight. Not even Kanda can say no to her."

Erika's giggles turned to shrieks. "Mommy!"

Allen immediately took her from Kanda. He smoothed out her dress and her hair. She buried her face in his neck, and was instantly asleep. I blinked at my white haired friend as he doted on that little girl. "Did she just call you 'mommy'?"

There was a challenge in his eyes when he looked up at me. "What about it?"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised, that's all."

Allen calmed down and sat on the couch. He adjusted his grip on Erika, laying her beside him with her head in his lap. I smiled at the adorable sight. "Maybe you could fill in some gaps for me. The last I heard, you had a mysterious illness and were being sent to live in quarantine until it passed. And today, I not only find you healthy, but with an adopted child? What happened in the last two years?"

"Lena..." Allen paused briefly, then he sighed. "I got better within a few months of moving out here. But that's when we found Eri. She's been with us since she was an infant. We knew we couldn't take her to the Order at that young age, so we decided to pretend that I was still sick."

I nodded. I understood that motivation perfectly, the Order was no place for a child.

I picked the package up off the coffee table and handed it to Allen. He opened the attached letter and read it, frowning the entire time. When he was done he held it out to Kanda. The samurai took it, and when he was done reading, he crumpled it up and threw it at Allen's head. "Told you so." Then he stormed from the room.

"What does it say?"

Allen shook his head and picked up the letter. "It's private."

He sighed and then explained. "We gave you such a rough welcome because we know that you being here means it's time for us to go back. And that's what it says. We have two weeks to pack our stuff up and get back to headquarters."

I didn't know what to say to that. I watched Allen start to tear open the package as I thought. "Umm... Does Komui know you've ... picked up a child?"

Allen laughed lightly as he unfolded the black fabric bundle. He held it up so I could see it. It was a child sized exorcist jacket. It would be big on Erika, because she was so small, but it was close. "Does that answer your question?"

I smiled. "I guess so."

He sighed and looked down at the child on his lap. "Is it wrong of me to have hoped that she would never ever have to wear one of these?"

I smiled at him. "You really think of yourself as her mother, don't you?"

He gave me that challenging look again. "Relax, Allen. She needs that. She needs someone who would give up everything to make her happy. Being an exorcist as a child is hard. Impossibly so. I wouldn't have survived if Komui hadn't come for me."

"Thank you, Lenalee." Allen smiled but it was forced. Erika shivered slightly so he covered her with the jacket.

I smiled. "Now for the really hard question: what's going on with you and Kanda?"

"What are you talking about?"

Apparently he was going to play dumb. "It's been you and him and a baby, living together in a house for the past two years, three months, and eleven days. You can no longer deny that you're friends. So... what is he in this little fantasy you have where you're Erika's mother?"

Allen suddenly frowned. "Are you going to be staying here for the next two weeks?"

"Don't change the subject."

He gestured with his head for me to turn around. Kanda had come back. From the look on his face he'd heard my last couple questions. I blushed. "Oh."

The samurai leaned against the doorway. He ignored me and focused on Allen. They held a silent conversation that Kanda ended out loud. "If you don't tell her then things have to go back to how they were right away."

Allen groaned and ran his fingers through Eri's hair. "Ugh. Fine, you win. I'll tell her."

Kanda smirked and then turned to me. "It's in your best interest not to ask too many questions."

Then he was gone again. I turned back to Allen. "So?"

He sighed. "Grab your bag and come with me."

Allen picked Erika up, and carried her towards the stairs. I followed warily. He went in the room on the right, and laid Erika down on the small bed. He covered her with the blankets and hung the jacket over the back of a rocking chair. Back in the hallway, he closed the door. "Obviously that was Erika's room. Mine's across the hall."

He led me to the next room down the hall. "You can sleep here. The bathroom is across the hall, but we all share it, so you might be more comfortable using the one downstairs."

I nodded as I looked around the room. It was as plain as the rest of the house, but unlike the other rooms, this one had a small coating of dust. I set my suitcase down on the bed.

After a pause Allen continued talking. "If anyone back at the Order asks, Kanda gave up his room and slept on the couch."

"Where does Kanda usually sleep?" It clearly wasn't the dusty room I was standing in.

He shrugged. "The room across from Eri's."

I blinked at him. "But didn't you say that was your room?"

Allen stood there and patiently waited for me to understand. But it never clicked. "I don't get it. How can _you two_ be sharing a room?"

He rolled his eyes. "We're not sharing a room, we're sharing a bed."

When I did nothing but stare at him, he continued. "We're sleeping together. Please don't make me say more than that..."

"Wait, you mean that you and ... and _Kanda_ have ... sex?" It felt like my eyes were going to fly out of my head.

He shrugged. "You wanted to know, and now you do. Just, don't tell anyone. We'll be in major trouble."

I nodded dumbly. I'd been at the Order for a long time, I knew exactly what would happen to them if anyone found out.

Allen wrapped an arm around my shoulder and guided me out of the room. "So, barring any more nightmares, we've got about an hour before Erika is done with her nap. Why don't we go back downstairs and you can catch me up on all the things I've missed back home?"

.x.x.

I enjoyed talking with Lenalee, but then Eri was awake and the peace and quiet was gone. The two girls got along well, and Erika babbled nonstop around Lenalee. It was amusing, especially since Eri was usually reserved around strangers.

The doorbell rang and Lenalee immediately hopped up to answer it. I didn't think anything of it until I heard the visitor's voice. "Oh, um, hello Miss. Is Ellen in?"

"Ellen?" I bolted to the door at Lenalee's confused question.

"Hello, Mrs. Cardona! Come in, come in!" I beckoned the elderly woman inside and out of the cold.

"Thank you, Ellen, dear. It's awfully brisk out today."

The door firmly closed, I moved back toward the couch and picked up Eri before she could toddle off. "Sorry I'm such a mess, but you know how it is. This little one keeps me on my toes."

Mrs. Cardona laughed. "Don't apologize dear. I understand perfectly. I remember when mine were that age. They liked to run me ragged."

Erika firmly on my hip, I smiled at my visitor. The woman had awful timing, but I couldn't be rude to her. She'd been a great support when Eri was a newborn. "And what brings you over today?"

"I was going through some of Sofia's old things and found some dresses that seem like they'd be just a little big on Erika. I thought you might like to have them, kids that age outgrow everything right away."

I laughed as I led her over to the table. We went through the clothes she brought. Eri attached herself to a pink knit cap and whined until I put it on her. When we were done, I thanked Mrs. Cardona, and she left.

Lenalee pounced on me the second the door was closed. "Ellen?"

I sighed heavily and set Erika down. "Yeah... The villagers think I'm a woman."

.x.x.

I burst out laughing. Sure Allen had always been on the feminine side, but it wasn't so much that he could be mistaken for one. It was hilarious that an entire town had.

Allen shook his head at my laughing fit, and sat down on the couch. Erika immediately crawled onto his lap. He played with her hair while he waited for me to finish. When I finally collected myself, I sat down beside them. "How'd it happen?"

He sighed before he spoke. "When we first moved here, someone misheard Kanda and thought my name was Ellen. It just snowballed out of control from there."

"Why didn't you correct them?"

He laughed lightly. "You remember what we talked about upstairs, right?"

"Oh, right. That." I blushed. _How could I have not noticed that my best friend was gay?_ But I got what he wasn't saying. If the villagers thought Allen was a woman then he could be with Kanda in public.

Allen smiled. "It helped a lot when Eri came into our lives, too. Because then we were a married couple with a child and we didn't have to deal with them judging us."

"They think you're _married_?" I laughed. The idea of Kanda marrying anyone was absurd. "So what happened with Erika? Kanda made it sound like you brought her home from the market, like she was a loaf of bread or something."

Allen laughed. "From his perspective it probably seemed like that. One day there was peace and quiet, and the next we were having to take care of this completely helpless little baby."

The conversation was interrupted when Kanda came into the room. "Hey, Moyashi? Are you going to take the Sprout with you to do the shopping, or is she staying here?"

Allen suddenly stood up, situating Erika on his hip. "I forgot all about that. Umm... I'll take her. Lenalee will come too, so it won't be too difficult to manage."

Kanda nodded. "Who was at the door earlier?"

"Mrs. Cardona. She came by with her monthly stack of 'hand-me-downs' for Eri."

With another nod Kanda was gone again, back to training in the back yard. Allen smiled at me. He led me over to the table where we gathered up the clothes and took them upstairs. "Mrs. Cardona lives across the street. Her kids have all moved away, and she's retired. She shows up occasionally, claiming she's passing on her daughters' old clothes, but they're all brand new. And in Eri's favorite colors no less."

I laughed a little. "That's kind of creepy."

Allen smiled softly. "It was at first, but she's harmless. She has a granddaughter Eri's age that she's never met. So she pretends Eri's her grandchild and makes things for her. It's really kind of sweet."

The clothes were put away, save for one outfit that Allen had laid out on the bed. "I have to go change, will you help Erika get dressed in that?"

I shrugged, unsure of what was happening. I hadn't done anything with a young child since I was one myself. "Sure."

The little girl was placed in my arms, and Allen disappeared across the hall. Eri reached out for him and called for her mommy. It was both heartbreaking and adorable. I took her over to the bed. "Let's get you dressed, and then you can go find Mommy, ok?"

She squirmed a little, but she didn't fight me as I took off the dress she was wearing and replaced it with the new one. There was a little more difficulty with her pants and stockings, but we got it done. She insisted on buttoning her coat herself, so I let her while I laced up her boots. I had to fix a couple buttons, but she had actually managed to do most of it.

There was laughter from the doorway as I struggled to help Erika with her gloves. Allen came in and had it done in seconds. He fixed her hat, and then she was ready to go. That's when I noticed what _he_ was wearing.

Allen was wearing a dress. It was the same style as all the village women had been wearing, with a high lace collar, and a long, full skirt with petticoats underneath. He had a thick shawl pinned around his shoulders, and even his boots were a woman's style. And to top it all off, his hair was done up in a bun, complete with a floppy-brimmed flower hat pinned in place.

I just stood there staring at him. He looked like a woman. Not a guy dressed like a woman, but an actual woman. It was shocking to say the least. "That was not what I expected when you said you had to change."

He blushed when he laughed, and he looked even more feminine. "If I want them to think I'm a woman, I have to play the part, right?"

"I think you're taking it a little far. The jewelry and heeled boots seem like overkill to me." I laughed as I adjusted the broach he had pinned at his throat. "And are you ... wearing a corset?"

He turned bright red. I couldn't help laughing at what was clearly a 'yes' answer. "Sh-shut up! It's just fabric, not one of those metal or whale bone things. And it's not pulled tight. I like breathing, thank you very much."

The pouting just made me laugh harder. "The fact that you even know any of that just makes me think that you actually like cross-dressing."

"I've been pretending to be a woman for more than two years. It's self-preservation, that's all." He stuck his tongue out at me.

"That would be more convincing if you actually _had_ a self-preservation instinct. You _do_ remember what happened the day you left, right?"

He frowned at me. "Ok, fine. It's relatively new. But I have a daughter now. I'm allowed to change my mind."

The girl in question squirmed in his arms. She was dressed to go out, but we hadn't left yet. "Mommy! Let's go!"

He laughed and flipped her upside down briefly. "Oh, you want to go, do you?"

She laughed the entire way down the stairs. Allen handed me a basket after I pulled on my coat, and then we headed out the door. The walk into the village was cold and quiet. I couldn't help marveling at Allen. He never once stumbled in those heels, and he handled that energetic toddler like a professional.


	3. Story Two, part 2

Erika grew silent when we reached the marketplace. Either she was incredibly shy or she had already been taught how to behave in public places. Knowing Allen though, it was probably a combination of both.

Allen stopped at the edge of the crowd and turned to me. "Please remember that the people here know me as a woman. I may only have two weeks left in this town, but I don't want to ruin it. If you must talk about me, my name is Ellen, and use 'her' and 'she' and the like, ok?"

I smiled. "In that outfit no one would believe me if I said you were really a man."

"Lena." Allen wasn't amused.

"Don't worry, I'll behave."

He frowned at me for a moment, but then decided that I wasn't lying. He turned and headed down the stall-lined street.

"Ah, Ellen! Welcome!" A middle-aged woman stepped out from the first stall and greeted Allen with a kiss on the cheek. He didn't even flinch. "And you've brought little Erika out! Isn't she just adorable in her little hat! Oh, and who's your friend?"

Allen didn't miss a beat. "This is Kanda's cousin Lenalee. She's come to town to help us pack."

"Oh, are you leaving us?" The woman seemed genuinely sad.

"Unfortunately." Allen smiled. "Kanda's mother has fallen ill, and she asked us to move closer so she could meet her granddaughter before..."

"Of course! Who wouldn't want to be around this princeseta?" The woman reached out like she was going to tickle Erika, but froze before her fingers made contact. She actually waited for Allen's nod of permission before making the little girl giggle. "When do you leave?"

"Two weeks."

"You have to let us throw you a going away party! Better yet! Come to the Christmas party! It'll be great fun! I'm sure there'll even be enough food to fill _you_ up!"

Allen laughed with her at the joke, but declined the invitation. Her attention immediately turned on me. "You have to convince her to come! I know they don't celebrate the holiday, but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy the party, right?"

I shook my head. "It's no use. She'd only end up crying. Ellen hates her birthday."

Allen's eyes flew wide open. "Lenalee!"

I tried to figure out what I'd said wrong. I'd used the proper pronouns, right?

The woman immediately gushed over Allen again. "Your birthday?! Dear, you absolutely must come now!"

I apologized to Allen while the woman continued to talk about the party. He gave me a small smile as he handed Erika to me.

The woman gradually fell silent as Allen took the basket and wandered off among the stalls. She stopped me when I tried to follow. "What's your secret? How'd you get on mama bear's good side?"

I could only stare at her. "'Mama Bear'?"

Allen called for me before the woman could answer. I hurried to catch up to him. "Any idea why she would call you 'mama bear'?"

He laughed in amusement and then smirked at me. "I believe she was referring to what you and Lavi call my black side."

"Oh." I was seriously terrified. I filed away a reminder to tell everyone back home not to mess with Erika.

Not that anyone would want to mess with that little angel. She was adorable as we walked through the market, pointing and smiling at everything that caught her eye. I loved watching her light up with excitement.

But "Ellen" was the real star.

Allen wasn't just dressed like a middle-class housewife. He acted like one. He walked, talked, and behaved exactly like a married woman with a family would. And everyone loved "her". Shopping took three times as long as it should have because everyone had to stop us and say hi.

To my surprise, everyone liked Kanda too. From what I gathered, he was as aloof as ever when he was alone, but when he was with "Ellen" he was their idea of the perfect husband. I'd seen pieces of Kanda's soft side while we were growing up, but I never once believed that he'd ever show it in public. Whatever was going on between him and Allen was more than just sex.

When we finally left the market, I was puzzled by how little Allen had purchased. I was under the impression that we were going shopping for dinner, but he had only bought a few random household items and a couple books and toys for Erika. The only thing that was somewhat food related was the bottle of oil he'd purchased, but I wouldn't learn until much, much later that it was for their nighttime activities.

Allen laughed at me on the walk home. "I know what you're thinking."

"Oh really? We haven't seen each other in two years, three months, and eleven days, and you think you still know me well enough to read my mind?"

"I do." He laughed. "Just because we haven't seen each other in a while doesn't mean you stopped being my best friend."

"Allen..."

He cut me off. "You were thinking that it was strange that I didn't buy any food."

I just kind of gaped at him. I guess he did know me pretty well still. He laughed. "Well, there are two answers to that. The first is that Mrs. Salas, umm... she's the housekeeper, she cooks and cleans and whatnot. Like everyone else, she thinks I'm a woman, so be careful around her. Anyway, Mrs. Salas gets really pissed at me when I do things she considers part of her job, like grocery shopping."

The look on his face made me laugh. Allen was probably the only person I knew who would get upset at being told he couldn't do chores. He ignored my laughter and kept talking. "We butted heads a lot at the beginning. Eventually Kanda told her she'd have an easier time if she told me what I could do instead of what I couldn't. So now we have a system where I'm allowed to do some of the shopping so long as I only buy certain things. And food isn't on that list."

He waited for my laughter to calm down before he continued. "The other reason is a little more complicated. When I got sick, my Innocence went dormant. And because it wasn't feeding off me, my appetite decreased down to that of a normal person. Since then, I haven't activated my Innocence even once, so it's not draining me like it was back when I was using it every day."

"Wait. Are you actually saying that you're not a bottomless pit any more? That's just wrong."

He laughed. "It's weird for me too. I actually like food. Not being able to eat everything in sight is strange. But it'll go back to how it was once I start using my Innocence again."

He suddenly sighed sadly and adjusted his hold on Erika. "And when Eri activates her Innocence she'll become a bottomless pit too."

I didn't know what to say to that. But Erika did. She wrapped her arms around Allen's neck and kissed the stray tear on his cheek. "Don't cry Mommy. I love you."

Of course, that only made him cry for real. He smiled at her through the tears. "I love you too, sweetheart."

Allen dried his tears on his sleeve. He forced a smile at me. "Does it look like I've been crying?"

I laughed. "Is that really what you want to worry about at the moment?"

His real smile showed briefly. "It is when Kanda's waiting for us at home. He gets really bitchy when I make myself cry."

"As opposed to all the other things that make him bitchy?"

Allen laughed. "Fair point."

He suddenly stopped in the middle of the street. "Oh. Umm... Speaking of Kanda... That joke you made earlier, about me liking wearing dresses. You should know that he... He's the one who likes it."

"What do you mean?" He had chosen his words carefully, but I couldn't connect the dots.

Allen turned beet red. "... He likes to jump me when he sees me like this."

"Oh. ... _Oh_!" I think I was as red as Allen.

The rest of the walk passed in silence. Neither of us could come up with a change of topic to break the awkwardness. Well, it was relatively silent anyway. When we stopped talking, Erika started babbling.

Kanda was sitting in the living room reading when we walked in. He immediately set the book down and stood up. The look on his face... Sure Allen had warned me that Kanda liked the cross-dressing, and the townspeople had confirmed that they were in fact a couple, but I still wasn't prepared for the samurai's reaction. He was practically drooling.

He walked a few steps closer before he noticed me. And then he suddenly fixed me with the fiercest glare he'd ever given me. Allen laughed as he closed the gap between them and handed Erika to him, she'd been squirming and reaching for Kanda ever since we walked through the door. He smiled as he took the little girl. "Hey Sprout. Did you have fun?"

"Mommy bought me a puppy!"

Kanda was immediately glaring at Allen. He laughed as he pulled the thing from the basket. "Relax, Bakanda. It's a toy."

I couldn't help snickering at the exchange. But that only refocused Kanda's attention on me. Allen sighed as he gave Erika the stuffed animal. "We talked. She knows. You can stop being so paranoid now."

Erika was set on the floor. Kanda pulled Allen into his arms and kissed him fiercely. I didn't know how to react. I was watching two men kiss, but Allen looked so much like a woman in that dress that it looked perfectly normal. On the other hand, seeing _Kanda_ kiss someone might have broken my brain a little.

When they finally broke apart, Allen lay his head on Kanda's shoulder. "Oh, um, before I forget: I told the villagers that Lenalee is your cousin. Your mother is terminally ill, so we're moving to be with her."

Kanda laughed. "How do you come up with this stuff, Moyashi?"

Allen smiled, taking it as a compliment. He knelt down and ushered Erika to her feet. "Ok, Sweetheart. Let's get you cleaned up for dinner."

He took the basket from me and the two of them disappeared upstairs. It was adorable watching that little girl climb up the steps.

Kanda snickered, catching my attention. "The Sprout's already got you wrapped around her finger, doesn't she?"

I laughed. "I guess so. ...'Sprout'?" Come to think of it he'd called her that earlier too.

He shrugged. "It's short for bean sprout."

"Isn't that what you call Allen?"

Kanda rolled his eyes at me. It was strange to see the familiar gesture after seeing him act so out of character all day. I ignored what was meant to be an insult and changed the subject. "So, you and Allen? How'd that happen?"

"Che." He rolled his eyes again. "I thought I told you not to ask questions."

"Kanda Yuu. You know that if you don't tell me the story, I'll just get Allen to do it. So either-"

"Fine. No need to be so bossy." Kanda growled and returned to his seat. "It happened about a year after he came to the Order. We were on a mission, trying to get some information out of a barkeep. I got a little ... tipsy."

I laughed. If Kanda was claiming he was only buzzed then he must have been flat out drunk. He glared at me and I shut up. "The Moyashi escorted me back to our room at the inn. I tried to ... take advantage of him. And that's the last thing I remember from that night..."

.x.x.x.x.x.

When I woke up the next morning, Allen was just sitting there, staring at me, the emotion on his face was unreadable. But then I remembered what had happened just before I passed out. I had been trying to get the Moyashi to join me in my bed, kissing him in the process.

"So..." The soft spoken word just made the atmosphere more awkward. "Are you going to explain what happened last night or are you going to give me the silent treatment?"

I just stared at him. I wanted desperately to be able to tell him that it wasn't the alcohol that made me want him, but I didn't know how to do that.

Allen sighed. "Silent treatment it is then. Guess that means _I_ get to talk."

I glared at him in protest, but he glared right back. "No. You tried to rape me last night. One of us has to talk about it. So if you're not going to explain yourself, then you have to listen to my side of the story."

In my mildly hungover state, I hadn't quite healed yet, the cold logic Allen was giving the situation made my head hurt. But what hurt more was the guilt that said I had caused the Moyashi pain. The alien feeling just made my headache worse. I stared silently at him.

He ... said nothing. We stared at each other for what felt like hours. Then he suddenly turned bright red. "Ah, screw it. Kanda, if you hadn't passed out when you did, I would have let you take me."

I stared blankly at him. _Did he just say...? No. I must have misheard him. There's no way he actually_ wanted _to have sex with me_.

Allen kept talking, and what he said was startling. "I didn't care that you were drunk. You were offering something I've wanted since I first met you. I was going to take it, and I didn't care about the consequences."

"Moyashi-"

"No. I'm not finished. You're mean, abusive, cold, and a dozen other adjectives that aren't nice. But I love you. I don't know why, but I do. So you can blame last night on the alcohol, but could you please just-"

"Shut up!"

Allen instantly stilled. He looked terrified. Completely and utterly terrified. I don't think that I had ever seen him that scared. And he had had real, legitimate reasons to be scared.

I, on the other hand, was severely _confused_. The Moyashi was making an outrageous claim. "Do you really mean what you just said, or are you doing that thing you do where you sacrifice your own feelings to make others feel better? Because if you are you can stop now, it's not working."

The Moyashi grumbled "bastard" under his breath. Then he started shouting. "Why on earth would I confess to _you_ of all people if I didn't mean it?! You once refused to do something as simple as shake my hand because I was cursed!"

"I only said that so you'd leave me alone! I didn't know how to deal with being physically attracted to you! Nothing like that had ever happened to me before!" The words were out before I even realized I was thinking them.

Allen's silver eyes were huge. And then they started to get teary. I just scowled at him. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke. "Then last night..."

I sighed. The cat was out of the bag, there was nothing I could do now. "I've wanted you from the beginning. All the alcohol did was make me vocal about it."

"And what is it that you want from me?"

"Why are you suddenly being shy?" I couldn't help snickering at him. "You've already confessed. You can't take it back."

He threw a pillow at me. This time the "bastard" was loud enough to hear clearly. "That's right, I've already told you my feelings. That means it's your turn. Do you love me or is it just attraction? I mean, I don't care either way, I'd be more than happy to settle for-"

I tossed the pillow back at him, beaning him right in the face. "Moyashi- no, _Allen_."

Using his real name had the desired effect. The brat shut up. Completely. He might have even stopped breathing. "If it was just attraction don't you think I would have done something about it long before now? Patience is not one of my strengths. If I didn't legitimately care for you I would have raped you a long time ago."

There were four words I never wanted to say to the Moyashi. I managed to confess while only using one of them. But he wasn't going to give up until he heard them all.

Allen blinked at me a few times before he started laughing. "Of course _you_ could find a way to say 'I love you' without saying the actual words."

He suddenly moved across the room and was sitting beside me. "So what can I do to make you say them...?"

Needless to say, what the Moyashi started led to sex. And that was every bit as amazing as I had imagined it being.

Afterwards was awkward again though. We didn't know what to say to each other. So we shoved it aside and went off on our mission.

But when we returned to our room that night, we ended up in bed together once again. We didn't talk, but we didn't have to. The sex spoke for us. We were in love.

.x.x.x.x.x.

"We talked the next morning, he confessed, and that was the end of it. Or rather, the beginning of everything."

I blinked at him. The story was short, too short. But then again, I already knew that Kanda wasn't a masterful storyteller. "So wait, you two have been together for what... six years?"

"Seven years come February." I turned to face Allen who was stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "Valentine's Day is our anniversary."

He was still wearing that dress, but the hat and shawl were gone, and the heeled boots had been replaced by a practical pair of flats. He walked over to us and placed Erika in Kanda's lap. She snuggled closer and cuddled her stuffed dog. Allen simultaneously smiled at me and scowled at Kanda. "He told you I confessed, but did he tell you why?"

I laughed lightly at the accusatory tone of his question. "He said he got drunk and tried to make you sleep with him."

Allen seemed shocked. "Oh."

Kanda snickered. "Why would I lie, Moyashi? I passed out before anything actually happened."

.x.x.

Lenalee said good night and retired to her room not long after we put Eri to bed. It finally gave Kanda and I a chance to talk. I sighed as I collapsed back on our bed. "What do we do now?"

"What do you mean, Moyashi? We knew we'd have to go back eventually. I thought you were thrilled to see Lenalee."

"I am. But I ... I didn't expect to hate lying about Eri so much. I wish I could tell Lenalee that I-"

Kanda interrupted me with laughter. "Moyashi. If you tell Lenalee that you gave birth she is going to laugh in your face."

I smacked him with a pillow. "I know that! And even if she did believe me, she knows enough to figure out that you're Eri's father, and that's not something she would be able to keep secret. The entire Order would find out that you knocked me up. So I'm not going to tell her. All I was saying was that I wish I could."

I sighed and hit him again. "Are we really going to let her take us back to headquarters?"

"Are you suggesting that we run away?" He took the pillow from me and rolled onto his side. I could see him sizing me up.

"I don't know." I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. "All I know is that I don't want to expose Eri to the war."

Kanda sighed. "I know, Moyashi. I don't want that either. And returning means I have to give up our daughter and go back to loving you in secret. But the only reason these past two years have been so peaceful and easy is because Komui has been supporting us. If we run we'll lose that. And you've been on the run from the Order before. Do you really think you could handle that with a toddler?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but he kept talking. "And what happens when the Noah come looking for us? We've been lucky so far, but that luck is bound to run out soon. And you know as well as I do that until Eri can activate her Innocence, headquarters is the safest place for her. I know you've heard Lenalee's horror stories, but that was before her brother became supervisor. Komui may be a psycho with a sister complex, but he _is_ good for something. He won't let the Order harm our daughter."

"Alright, you've made your point, you can stop talking now." I groaned and covered my face with my hands. "When exactly did you figure all that out, anyway? Thinking isn't exactly your strong suit, Bakanda."

He snorted. "I want to return to the Order even less than you do. So while you were distracting Lenalee all afternoon, I was trying to figure out a way to escape. But even though it's not what you and I want, going back is what's best for our daughter."


	4. Story Three, part 1

"So, how was childbirth?"

I glared at the chipper expression on Komui's face. We had been back at headquarters for all of half an hour. Erika was asleep on my lap, exhausted from the trip, and Kanda was off doing who knows what. It just figured that those would be the first words out of the Supervisor's mouth once we were alone. I was already annoyed at having to come back; I was in no mood to put up with Komui's antics. "If you want to live, you'll never ask that question again. The fact that your stupid potion didn't permanently change my body is the only reason that you're not already dead."

He immediately blanched at my tone and began to laugh awkwardly. "I was only joking! Must you take everything so seriously? Besides, you got a beautiful little baby out of it."

He continued to babble on like that, so I sighed heavily and changed the subject. "If you're still on that whole not wanting to know who her father is thing, don't talk to your sister about any of this. Lenalee knows who I've slept with. If she knew that I was Eri's biological mother, she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut about the other thing."

Komui stopped abruptly in surprise, but it wasn't at what I expected to surprise him. "You didn't tell her you were pregnant?"

I nodded. "I told her that Erika was an orphan from the village and I took her in because of her parasitic Innocence."

"You lied to my precious sister?!" Komui was suddenly in my personal space, and his freaking out made Eri start to stir from her slumber.

Petting my daughter's hair to calm her down, I quirked an eyebrow at Komui, briefly letting my black side out. "Oh? Did you want me to tell her that _you_ made a potion that made me get pregnant?"

When he paled at my words, I snorted. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Can we get on with the exam now? I haven't had Jerry's cooking in years; I'd like to go to have lunch soon."

Komui laughed as he stood and led the way down to Hevlaska's chamber. I woke Eri gently before we went inside; she needed to be awake for this. Hevlaska greeted us warmly, and she was very excited to meet Erika, who was fortunately too sleepy to be scared of her. It was embarrassing explaining to Hevlaska how Eri had the Innocence fragment that had been inside me at my last exam, so I let Komui do it; this whole thing was his fault anyway.

The exams went quickly, and I was relieved to hear that everything was fine. Carrying Erika had had no ill effects on Crowned Clown, and once I started using it again, I would quickly be back to full strength. Eri was too young for Hevlaska to get a proper read on her Innocence, but she was able to tell me that my daughter already had a strong bond with her Innocence.

I excused myself when Erika started to get whiny. She was fully awake now, and I knew without her saying it that she wanted food. Her bad mood vanished when I told her we were going to get lunch, and she bounced happily as I carried her on my hip to the cafeteria.

The moment I stepped into the dining hall, there was a loud cheer welcoming me home. I smiled brightly, my heart pounding crazily as I expected to be pelted with questions about the child in my arms. I had mentally prepared for this, I knew it would happen, but that didn't make me any less nervous to introduce my daughter to everyone.

No one said anything about Erika though. It was weird, but I decided to ignore it and go get our food. Or rather, the toddler repeatedly shoving her knees into my side wanted me to go get food.

We got a few smiles and looks as we approached Jerry's counter, but even after two years away, everyone remembered to let me eat before pestering me. Jerry smiled brightly and almost leapt over the counter to hug me. "Allen! I missed you so much! Cooking is so boring without you here!"

The tears of joy streaming down his face made me smile, but before I could reply to his greeting, he noticed Erika in my arms. "Oh, and who is this adorable little one? She's so precious."

When Jerry reached out towards her, Eri let out a screech and buried her face in my shoulder. "Mommy!"

Sighing inwardly, I held her close and gently kissed the top of her head. I hoped she figured out soon that Jerry wasn't someone she should be afraid of. I smiled up at the chef, who hadn't stopped babbling about how adorable Eri was and how cute it was that she called me 'mommy'. Normally I would have outright threatened whoever was scaring my baby, but Jerry was a special case. "This is Erika, and as you've already guessed, she's my daughter. She's a little shy, so I'd appreciate it if you toned it down until she gets used to you."

Jerry smiled and immediately stopped his wild gesturing to lean calmly on the counter. "Of course. I'm sorry if I scared her."

"Don't worry about it." I smiled at him, and then I turned my attention to the navy haired girl who was still trying to press herself into my chest. I brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and coaxed her into looking at me. "Hey, Eri? Jerry is going to make your lunch. Can you tell him what you want?"

She frowned at me for a moment, clearly thinking hard, before she turned to Jerry and declared, "Peanut-jelly sammich!"

From the way Jerry blinked, it was rather obvious that he was restraining himself from gushing at how cute Eri's toddler speech was. The chef looked at me for a confirmation of what she'd asked for. "A peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"

I nodded and straightened Erika's pink knit hat as I explained exactly how she wanted her sandwich. "She wants it with creamy peanut butter and strawberry jam, on thick white bread with the crusts cut off, and cut in half diagonally. She also wants apple slices without the peels, carrot sticks, and a glass of white milk."

When he gave me a confused look, I smirked at him. "Don't let her size fool you, she's got a parasitic Innocence and can already eat as much as an adult.

"Oh, and don't try to fancy up any of her food or she won't touch it." I laughed and winked at Jerry as the thought struck me. "Just pretend you're cooking for Kanda."

The comparison made Jerry laugh and I wished I could tell him that the two were actually biologically related. "Another picky eater, eh? And what'll you have Allen?"

Now that was a hard question. I had been missing Jerry's food for a long time. What did I want to start with? "I'll have... Spaghetti and meatballs."

I waited for an acknowledgement from the chef, but he just stared at me. I could almost hear crickets chirp as I waited for his response. When he finally spoke, it was slow and deliberate. "Is that it, sweetie? Just the one dish?"

I nodded and he suddenly brightened. "Oh, I get it! You must want a whole big, steaming pot of it, right?"

"No, just the one plate will be fine."

He frowned and started mumbling something to himself. It was really confusing behavior. But when he began sobbing about how I must have found a better chef because I didn't want his food, everything suddenly made sense. "Oh. I'm sorry. I thought you knew. When I got sick, my Innocence went dormant. Until I start using it again, my appetite is going to be like a normal person's. No one could ever replace you."

Jerry was back to his usual self in a heartbeat. "Alright, sweetie, you just wait right there and I'll have your food out for you in a jiffy."

It truly took the chef no time at all to prepare our food. Which wasn't surprising, he always could cook my usual sized meals in less time than it took me to eat them. So by the time I had set Erika down and got her to understand that she would have to walk so I could carry our food, Jerry was setting the tray with our plates on the counter.

I surveyed the dishes carefully, making sure that the ridiculously picky eater Eri's meal was correct before I accepted the tray. I thanked Jerry, and then I turned my attention on my daughter. "Ok, Eri, you see Auntie Lenalee over there? That's where we're going."

She nodded solemnly at me and practically clung to my leg as she followed me to the table where the other exorcists were eating. It was unusual for her to be so quiet and clingy, but I was too thankful that she wasn't bouncing all over the place to realize that she was scared of the finders and the fact that they were all dressed the same.

I set the tray down at a vacant spot on the table and then I lifted Erika up and placed her on the bench. She cooperated, which was great, but she was much too small; she wouldn't be able to reach her food sitting like that. I stared awkwardly at her, but before I could come up with a solution to the problem, Lenalee slid closer and pulled Eri into her lap. I smiled thankfully at her; when they were sitting like that, my little girl would be able to reach her plate just fine. "I'll get my brother to make her a special chair later, but this will work for now, right?"

"Thanks." I sat beside her and moved Eri's plate off the tray and set it in front of her. After a pause, I gave Lenalee a hard look. "Don't touch her food or she won't eat it."

Lenalee laughed at my words, but it did nothing to hide her offense. "I remember."

I winced. "I know, it's just-"

"Allen." Her firm tone cut me off, and I squirmed a little as she gave me a critical look. "Are you going to be worse than my brother?"

Lenalee was comparing my overprotective streak towards my daughter to her brother's sister-complex. I blanched at the thought. "That's entirely possible."

To my surprise, she laughed and actually let the issue drop.

It wasn't until I had gotten settled and was about to dig in to my own food that I noticed that Eri hadn't touched hers. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

She mumbled something I couldn't understand and squirmed closer to Lenalee, practically hiding in the Chinese woman's jacket. Lenalee gave me a small smile. "I think she's scared, Allen."

She gestured with her head at the rest of the table, and when I looked up, I finally noticed that everyone was watching us. I blushed deeply. "Oh, umm..."

Lenalee gently nudged Erika out of her jacket and guided my little girl into looking at the others at our table. "Everyone, this is Erika Walker. She's almost two. She's our newest exorcist."

There was dead silence following the introduction before Lavi spoke up and broke it. "Walker?"

Before I could say anything, Lenalee raised an eyebrow and smirked at him. "Yeah, she's Allen's daughter. So don't mess with her or you'll be dealing with him, got it?"

I laughed internally as I watched the redhead swallow hard and nod repeatedly. Looking away from him, I focused my attention on my daughter. "Eri, do you want to meet more of Mommy's friends?"

She nodded, and I could practically hear her thinking that if she liked Lenalee, she'd like the rest of my friends. I smiled as I slowly pointed out each of the exorcists at our table. "Ok, the redhead with the eye patch is Lavi. The big guy next to him is Marie, he's Kanda's brother. Beside him is his wife, Miranda. And the boy with the blue hair is Timothy."

Eri smiled at each of them, then finally relaxed and picked up her sandwich. But when I tried to eat my own food, Lavi began to bombard me with questions. Lenalee laughed at the scowl I gave the redhead, and then she patted me on the shoulder. "Eat. I'll answer his questions."

Of course, her comment immediately changed Lavi's first question. He stared incredulously at my lone plate. "Is that really all you're eating?"

Before I could react, Lenalee had scoffed at him. "Of course it is. His sickness made his Innocence go dormant, _remember_?"

Taking Lenalee's advice, I decided to focus on my food and my daughter, and let her answer the questions. She'd been with us for the last two weeks after all, and I trusted her to keep certain things to herself. Besides, I was literally sitting right there, I could jump in if the conversation took a turn I didn't like.

There was no need to worry, Lenalee told the story exactly how I wanted her to: she explained to the others that Eri was an orphan that I had adopted, and she completely left out the part about Kanda and I being a couple.

About halfway through the questions though, Erika suddenly pulled herself out of Lenalee's lap, ducked under the bench, and ran off towards the cafeteria doors. I was on high alert at the unexpected action, but a cry of 'daddy' immediately calmed me down. Eri had simply seen Kanda arrive and was running to meet him. There was just one little thing that hadn't occurred to me yet: my toddler daughter had just named Kanda as her father in front of the entire cafeteria.

.x.x.

Everyone in the dining hall froze, watching with bated breath to see how I would react to the newly arrived toddler and the fact that she had just called me 'daddy'.

Forcing myself to ignore them all, I frowned as I bent down and picked up Erika, who had thrust her arms in the air, clearly wanting me to do just that. She squirmed and giggled at the contact, oblivious to the fact that I was holding her awkwardly at arm's length and by her armpits.

I wanted to hold her properly, to hug her and treat her like the precious angel she was. But I couldn't. We were back at the Order, where homosexuality was strictly forbidden. I couldn't publicly love Allen, and that meant that I couldn't publicly love my daughter. That little girl was going to do exactly what she had just done: unknowingly tell everyone things that would get me and the Moyashi in serious trouble.

Still holding Eri awkwardly, I stalked over to the Moyashi's table and plopped her unceremoniously in his lap. "I believe this is yours."

Allen frowned, but otherwise didn't react; he understood exactly why I was acting the way I did. However, the second I let go of her, Eri began to whine up at me, calling repeatedly for her daddy. Knowing that I couldn't comfort her made me want to cry. I growled at the Moyashi. "And make her stop calling me that. It's annoying."

Meanwhile, Eri's whines had turned to tears, and I desperately wanted to hug my little girl and tell her that her daddy loves her. I knew we had to do it this way, that she had to be Allen's and not mine, but it was awful; I suddenly understood how Allen felt whenever he complained about hiding his pregnancy from Lenalee. All those years of meditation were all that was keeping me from breaking down.

"If I can't make her stop calling me 'Mommy', what makes you think I can make her stop calling you 'Daddy'? She's a baby. Suck it up and deal with it." The Moyashi's tone was exactly like it always was when he argued with me; he was holding it together much better than I was.

Before I could come up with a retort to his harsh words and start an argument, like I knew everyone was expecting us to do, I was silenced by a very sharp crack that echoed through the cafeteria. I blinked, and it wasn't until I saw Lenalee, standing in front of me with her arm raised, that I realized that I had just been slapped.

I growled at Lenalee. "What do you think you-?"

I was silenced by another slap across my face, and this time it actually hurt. Lenalee matched my scowl. "I have something to say, and I need you to shut up until I'm done, got it?"

When she was satisfied that I was keeping my mouth shut, she turned towards Allen. But to my surprise, instead of yelling at him too, she picked up the now sobbing Erika and thrust her into my chest. Her pointed glare made me give in to my instincts and wrap my arms around my daughter.

Eri's sobs immediately dissolved into sniffles as she snuggled closer to me, but Lenalee's glare only grew fiercer. She was angrier than I had ever seen her before. And when she finally spoke, I realized why that was: she was taking this personally. I couldn't fault her for that; I was there, I remembered what her life was like before her brother became the Supervisor. "Listen closely, Kanda Yuu. I do not want to have to repeat myself on this.

"That little girl thinks that you are her father and that Allen is her mother. That means that you two are the most important people in the world to her. And on top of that, she has a parasitic Innocence; she's going to be an exorcist someday. I don't know if you realize this, but she's got an incredibly hard and cruel life ahead of her. It may only be a matter of days before Central arrives and tries to force her to start learning to activate her Innocence. If that happens, and even if it doesn't, she will need you. As hard as her life is going to be, that would be nothing compared to the pain of knowing that the man she regards as her father doesn't want her. You are not allowed to do that to her. I don't care if you think it's stupid or beneath you, you are going to act like a father should act, and treat this little girl like she is the most important person in the whole wide world."

Lenalee was sobbing by the time she was done shouting at me. Crap. Komui was going to kill me for making her cry. Then her tears suddenly vanished and her violet eyes blazed as she stared at me. "Do you understand me?"

I swallowed under the ferocity of her gaze. I briefly debated sticking to the plan and arguing with her, but I could see that that was futile. Allen's anger towards me for deviating from our carefully constructed plan would be nothing compared to what Lenalee would do to me if I tried to fight her. "I understand."

"Good." She smirked smugly at me, and I suddenly realized that half of the Order had just witnessed her bullying me into doing what she wanted. It was not nearly as embarrassing as her next words were though. "Besides, we all know that you have a soft spot for little girls. You're not fooling anyone with that tough guy act of yours."

When Allen snickered at her words, Lenalee suddenly grew fierce again. She tugged on the Moyashi's ear as she glared at me. "And while I'm on the subject, we all know that you two spent the last two years living together. That means we all know that you two are friends and that you actually can go months at a time without fighting. If either one of you try to start up your old routine then there is going to be hell to pay. Got it?"

If it weren't already dead silent in the cafeteria, Lenalee revealing that the Moyashi and I had stopped fighting would certainly have made it that way. The few exorcists nearby all looked at her like she had just announced that her psycho brother had given up coffee; apparently, the two of us getting along was that ridiculous.

I caught Marie smirking at me out of the corner of my eye. Damn. I was going to have some explaining to do later.

In the meantime, I glared at the still angry Lenalee and nodded just enough to convey that yes, I understood she'd kick my ass, or worse, if I started fighting with the Moyashi again.

She smiled so sweetly back at me that it almost made me gag. Then she turned to Allen, who was scowling at her and trying to make her let go of him. She pulled even harder on his ear, not stopping until he screeched and conceded. "Alright! I get it! No more fighting! Now let go of me!"

"Good." Releasing his ear, she smiled triumphantly at us. It turned into a devious smirk almost immediately. "Now, I'm going to go talk to my brother about your living arrangements. We can't have little Erika getting upset because your rooms are too far from hers."

I watched Lenalee leave the cafeteria, wondering if she meant what I thought she did. However, I had more pressing concerns, as Eri had started squirming in my arms. The pouty face she was making at me was adorable, and her motions clearly indicated that she wanted me to sit down on the bench beside Allen. One glance at the table told me that that was also where her half eaten lunch was, so I did what she wanted. Standing between the Sprout and food was almost as suicidal as getting between Allen and food was. I sat down with her on my lap, and she immediately laughed and began scarfing down apple slices.

As soon as Eri was otherwise occupied, Lavi raised an eyebrow at me and Allen, and the look made me very apprehensive of whatever question he was about to ask. "What was _that_ all about?"

I knew exactly what the answer was, but it was too private and I wasn't going to say it. But I wasn't the only one at the table who knew why Lenalee had flipped out like that.

Marie placed a hand on Lavi's shoulder and leaned in closer so that his words wouldn't travel to the rest of the cafeteria. "She'd probably hurt me for telling you this, but Lenalee's life when she first came to the Order was terrible. She was put through hell to synchronize with her Innocence. She ended up suicidal, and she was even declared insane at one point. She's only the way she is now because her brother came for her. Having Erika here is making her remember all those things she went through, and she can't stand the thought of any of it happening to someone else. She's being harsh on Allen and Kanda because they're Erika's Komui. She knows that without them, that little girl may not survive what's coming."

There was nothing to say after that, and the others' attempts to start a new conversation failed. I focused on watching Eri eat while I let my thoughts drift over everything that had happened in the last ten minutes.

Allen and I had planned to go back to how we were. Back to the arguing in public and the secret trysts at night. Eri would be his responsibility, which was a disagreement I had won: no matter how precious she was to me, I couldn't take the baby he had given birth to from him. I knew it would be hard, but I also knew that a baby at the Order would practically be communal property; I would still get plenty of time around her, I just wouldn't be her 'daddy'.

Lenalee knew our plan before we came back to headquarters. She had helped us make it and had even volunteered to help us with finding time to ourselves. We were all satisfied with the plan, but she was the one who was the most confident in it. It was somewhat disturbing that she was the one who had cracked at the first sign of pressure. Or maybe it wasn't. I too had almost broken down when Eri started crying. If Lenalee hadn't snapped when she did, I might have been the one to deviate from the plan.

It definitely worked out better this way. And I'm not just saying that out of pride. If I had been the one to break, not only would everyone would have found out about my relationship with Allen, but they would also have learned that Erika was our biological daughter. This way I could have my daughter and a normal relationship with my Moyashi, without having any of the consequences that would have come from being outed as homosexual. Everyone would think that I was being nice to Erika and Allen because Lenalee had threatened me.


	5. Story Three, part 2

When Eri had finished her lunch, she climbed off my lap. I had planned to go get my own food when she was done, but what she did when she was no longer on my lap was so strange that I had to stay and watch her.

Once she was on her own two feet, the Sprout toddled over to Timothy and poked at his hair for a bit. She then wandered to each of the other exorcists in turn, demanding hugs or tugging on their hair. They all took her exploring well, smiling and chattering at her in baby talk. And when she reached Lavi, her little fingers found his bandana and pulled it down over his face. He laughed as he fixed it. "She's quite the curious little pest, isn't she?"

Allen frowned at the comment. "I don't know. This is really weird behavior for her. It usually takes her an incredibly long time to warm up to strangers."

I had been agreeing with Allen internally, but as I watched Eri climb off of the Usagi, I realized that what he said wasn't right. "Actually, that's not quite true. She liked Lenalee right away."

"Right. I forgot about that." Allen blinked a few times, confused over the Sprout's behavior.

"Maybe it's because you introduced us to her as your friends." Lavi's suggestion was clearly meant to make Allen feel better. The Moyashi was twenty three now, yet the redhead was still trying to be a big brother to him. "She probably likes us because she thinks it's what you want her to do."

Allen just shook his head. "If that were true, she wouldn't have been terrified of Jerry."

The words earned laughter from the rest of the table. Lavi opened his mouth to say something, but he never got any words out as Allen spoke before he could. The Moyashi's gaze was locked on something in the distance, and his tone made it fairly obvious that he was thinking out loud. "... Actually... Now that you mention it, Eri also liked Hevlaska."

I couldn't help snorting at him. "So? You're the only one who doesn't."

The pout on Allen's face was almost a perfect replica of the one Erika usually gave me. Then he frowned and the look was gone. "It's the exams I don't like, not Hevlaska. And you're missing the point. There's something very specific that the people Eri has liked all have in common."

His challenge was directed at me, but I didn't get it until Lavi said the word. "...Innocence..."

Allen nodded, that lost in thought look returning to his face. "And given that Eri's own Innocence is located over her heart, I seriously doubt that that's a coincidence."

He absentmindedly pulled Eri onto his lap after she tugged on his jacket. None of us were paying much attention to the toddler though, we were far more interested in listening to Allen explain what he was thinking. "Innocence - especially _parasitic_ Innocence - does strange things. Timothy's Innocence is sentient when it's activated. Krory's alters his personality. Crowned Clown can change its form in response to my emotions. So even though she's still a baby, Eri's Innocence may already be talking to her, telling her to trust the other exorcists."

Lavi laughed off the tension that had settled around our conversation. "That's an interesting theory, Allen, but-"

Before he could get any further, Allen abruptly interrupted him and changed the subject. "Hey, Kanda? You always keep Mugen on you, don't you? Even around Eri?"

I blinked at him, wondering what exactly he was getting at. Was this a trap to get me to say something stupid so that his overprotective side could freak out at me? Or did he genuinely want to know?

He was clearly waiting for an answer though, and silently examining his motives was getting me nowhere, so I sighed and told the truth. "Yes, I always carry my sword with me. Even around the Sprout."

The Moyashi nodded. Apparently, he was just looking for me to agree with his observation. "And has she ever touched it?"

With that question, I suddenly knew _exactly_ what he was getting at. He hadn't changed the subject at all; he was still talking about Eri's Innocence. And he knew what my answer was going to be, but he wanted the others to hear it from me. "No, she hasn't. She's never even reached for it. If she had, I would have explained to her that it was dangerous and that she should stay away from it, but I've never had to do that. She just seems to know that on her own."

Lavi snickered and smirked at me. "You really do have a soft spot for that little girl, don't you, Yuu-chan?"

I snarled at him, but he ignored me and went back to being serious. "What exactly is it you're getting at, Allen? Why does it matter that Eri's never touched Kanda's sword?"

Allen rolled his eyes at the stupidity of Lavi's question. "Because his sword is his Innocence. Now shut up and watch."

He moved Eri onto my lap and I knew exactly what was coming next, he played this game with her quite a lot. Allen surveyed the table for a second then reached out and grabbed a piece of broccoli off Lavi's plate. He held it between the fingers of his right hand and offered it to Erika. "Hey Eri, do you want some broccoli?"

She made a face and squirmed away from him, and I made sure she didn't escape; Allen's demonstration would be pointless if she ran off. Lavi snorted. "So she doesn't like broccoli, what's the-"

I snarled at the interruption. "He's not done yet. Be a little more patient, Usagi."

Allen scowled at the redhead as he picked up one of Eri's uneaten apple slices. He turned back to Eri and offered her both pieces of food, only this time the broccoli was in his left hand. Before he could even ask which one she wanted, the Sprout had taken the broccoli and gobbled it down.

While Allen was distracted with fawning over Eri, I took it upon myself to explain what just happened to the others. "We first noticed it about five months ago. Whenever the Moyashi offers her something that way, she always wants whatever's in his left hand. _Always_. Even if it's something she doesn't like."

Allen nodded as he pulled Eri back into his own lap. "We thought it was just something quirky she did, but now... I can't help but wonder if she prefers my left hand because it's where my Innocence is."

Miranda had been characteristically silent through all this, so it was a bit of a surprise when she suddenly piped up with a question. "How does she react to your Innocence when it's activated, Allen?"

That was certainly an intriguing question. The Moyashi frowned as he pondered what she was suggesting. "I don't know. I haven't activated my Innocence in years, so she's never seen it. I wonder how she'd react..."

In the silence that followed, I couldn't help suggesting something that I had a feeling I'd come to regret. I didn't want to risk Eri becoming terrified of Allen because of his Innocence. "...Aren't you supposed to be practicing with your Innocence this afternoon? Why don't you take her with you and find out?"

Allen gaped at me and I could almost see the gears spinning in his head. The others were all watching him as well; curious as to how he'd respond. Eventually he frowned and stared levelly at me. "Are you going to come with us? If Eri ends up scared of me, you're the only one who has any hope of calming her down."

Knowing the others were listening, I snorted and faked annoyance. "Lenalee would kill me if didn't."

.x.x.

The other exorcists tried to talk me out of activating my Innocence in front of Eri, but I knew I had to do it. She was going to see it sooner or later, and since she also had a parasitic Innocence, it was better to start exposing her to that as soon as possible.

From the stories Lenalee had told me, getting Eri used to seeing and being around the Innocence would make her transition into an exorcist a whole lot easier on her. If Central was going to try to force her into activating her Innocence, which I desperately hoped Kanda was right about Komui not letting happen, the best thing I could do for my baby was prepare her for that.

And while I was scared that Eri would react poorly to seeing my hand become clawed, there was also the matter of what we had recently discovered about her Innocence. This was by far the easiest and quickest way to find out if her Innocence truly was reacting to the other Innocence fragments. Because if I was right about that, not only would she not have any issues with Crowned Clown, but we'd be one step closer to knowing what her Innocence was capable of.

So we all traipsed down to the training hall together.

I hid it well, but Kanda knew exactly how nervous I was and what I was nervous about. When I handed Eri over to him, he leaned close and whispered in my ear. "You gave birth to her. She loves you and knows you love her. She will never reject you."

His next words were muddled and in Japanese, but even though I didn't know what they were, I knew what they meant. "I love you."

Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I walked a few paces away from where the others were sitting. My worries over Eri were strong, but I was scared about this part too. The last time I had tried to activate Crowned Clown, I had ended up learning I was pregnant and having to leave the Order. Hevlaska may have confirmed that morning that my Innocence was ready to be activated again, but I was prepared for the worst.

There was nothing to worry about though. Crowned Clown activated exactly like it was supposed to, felt exactly like it was supposed to. And while it was strange to feel those things after so long, it felt more like seeing all my friends again did. Crowned Clown was a part of me, and I had missed it. I may have been a mother now, but I was still an exorcist at my core; I always had been and always would be.

I flexed my clawed fingers a few times and then I turned around and faced my daughter. Eri, of course, was not paying attention. She wasn't even two yet, so it really wasn't a surprise that playing with her father's hair was more interesting than watching me stand in the middle of a room.

Kanda was trying to make her look at me, but she thought it was a game and just kept trying to get more of his hair. The others were torn between laughing at Kanda's obvious frustration and shock at the fact that he hadn't yelled at Erika yet. They were going to be no help in getting Eri to do what we wanted.

With practiced ease, I sent out a tendril of Crowned Clown's cloak, gently wrapping the white fabric around my baby girl's waist. She looked at me at the touch, and immediately dropped Kanda's hair and climbed out of his lap. She toddled over to me, giggling the entire time.

Eri avoided my claws when she reached me, staying focused on my cape. She reached out for the fabric, trying to catch it with her little fingers as I continued to move it away from her. Her giggles never stopped, and that made me feel so good inside. Like with Mugen, she knew to stay away from the dangerous and sharp parts of my activation, but she still loved the part that was safe for her to play with.

Acting on impulse, I decided the next step was to see how Erika would react to my sword. I grabbed my left wrist and pulled, activating my sword without a second thought; I may not have drawn it in years, but it was still second nature to me.

That good feeling I had shattered in a split second. The moment Eri laid eyes on me with my sword drawn, she was screaming at the top of her lungs and bawling like the baby she was.

My heart broke as I watched my daughter run away from me in fear; the only comfort I had was that she was running to her father.

"Moyashi. Stop crying like a woman." Kanda's harsh words and tone had me frozen in my tracks. I may have been freaked out, but I knew my boyfriend of almost seven years well, and as such, I knew that he only compared me to a woman when he thought I was overreacting. It was his way of telling me to calm down.

I stared at him, unable to form words, watching my baby sob in his arms and waiting for him to finish yelling at me. But instead, he turned his attention to Erika. He adjusted his hold on her and started whispering to her in Japanese.

I had been learning Japanese along with her - Kanda had insisted she be bilingual - and while she was much better at it than I was, I got the gist of what he was saying to her. It was mostly soothing nonsense, the kind he was not going to say in English in front of Lavi, and the more I listened, the more I realized what Kanda must have seen from the beginning: Eri wasn't scared of me, it was something else that was upsetting her.

It felt like hours before she finally calmed down enough to mumble back at her father. I didn't catch the words, her voice was too quiet, but when the next thing Kanda did was order me to put my sword away, I obeyed without question.

When my Innocence was deactivated, Kanda pried Eri from his chest and turned her to face me, still speaking to her in Japanese. She was blinking tears from her silver eyes, but when she looked at me, she immediately climbed out of Kanda's lap and ran to me. She threw her arms around my leg and began sobbing once again. I picked her up and she clung to my left arm in a way that made holding her very awkward. I knew I was crying too, but I couldn't make the tears stop. "What happened?"

Kanda shook his head. "She didn't see you draw your sword. All she saw was that your left arm was gone, and that scared her. She thought you were broken."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was still shaken from the way Eri had screamed at me, but this was a fixable issue. She'd be ok once we got her to understand that my arm became my sword.

While I tried to calm myself down, I moved Eri to my right hip so that she could freely play with the fingers of my left hand. After a few moments, Lavi broke the silence that had fallen over us. "She speaks Japanese?"

Kanda shrugged off the question. "I was stuck in the middle of nowhere for two years with only the Moyashi for company. Teaching Japanese to a baby was by far the most interesting way to entertain myself."

Lavi bought the lie and turned his questioning gaze on me. "You let him do that? Wouldn't you have been against your daughter speaking a language you don't understand?"

"Of course." I snorted. "That's why I made him teach me too."

"But he said-"

I rolled my eyes at Lavi's confused expression. "I realize we were gone for two years, but could you really not tell that he was insulting me?"

His embarrassed response was cut off by an obnoxiously loud growling noise. _Of course. That again_.

The grumbling in my stomach was accompanied by a rather sharp pain, and if it weren't for Eri in my arms, I probably would have collapsed. Instead, I managed to fall gently to my knees without hurting her. Everyone who had been keeping their distance while I trained was immediately at my side. I smiled at their worried looks and spoke before they could question me. "I'm ok, I'm just really hungry. If I'd've known that I was going to end up using my Innocence that much, I would've eaten a bigger lunch."

As if to prove I wasn't lying, my stomach growled loudly again. Everyone laughed, but when I tried to stand back up, I collapsed again and they went right back to being worried. I swore under my breath in frustration, then glared at their unwanted concern. "My Innocence has been dormant for _**two years**_. I truly am just hungry. If you really want to help, go get me something to eat."

Lavi and Timothy were gone in the blink of an eye, leaving me alone with Kanda, Eri, Miranda, and Marie. I worked my way into a more comfortable position, with Erika situated in my lap, feeling better now that I wasn't trying to stand. The little girl was asleep immediately, worn out by the crying she'd done earlier.

Miranda placed a hand on my shoulder, clearly about to ask if I was ok again, but Marie chuckled and spoke before she could. "Did I hear Kanda right earlier? Did you really give birth to that little girl, Allen?"

The hand on my shoulder froze as Miranda reacted in surprise. I wanted to do the same, but I also desperately wanted to people to know the truth, and Marie and Miranda were the only two people it was safe to tell. I nodded as I stroked my baby's hair. "I did. Erika is my daughter biologically. And Kanda is her father."

Kanda raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't protest. What I had said wasn't news to the other two; they already knew we were sleeping together and it wasn't hard to figure out from there that he was the one who had gotten me pregnant.

Miranda stuttered for a moment before she asked the question I knew was coming next. "You were pregnant, Allen? How is that possible?"

Kanda snorted at the question. "Komui."

We all laughed at that and then I told them the story. When I finished, Miranda smiled at me and gently adjusted Eri's hat. "So that's why she looks so much like you."

.x.x.

The news that Allen and Kanda had returned to headquarters with a child spread quickly through the Order's ranks. The story that Erika was an orphan they took in was believed, but only at first. Because once someone pointed out that Erika looked exactly like the two of them, no one could unsee the comparison. Speculation ran wild, and the theories as to her origins were almost as unusual as the truth. But before the day was over, everyone had decided that one particularly plausible theory must be the truth: Erika was the child of Allen and Kanda's sister.

Given that Kanda never talked about himself or his past, it was highly likely that he had left a family behind when he joined the Order. A family that undoubtedly included a sister who was just as attractive as he was. And given the nature of Allen and Kanda's relationship, it was incredibly believable that their problems with each other came from Allen dating that sister.

They did the math and figured out that based on Erika's age and how long Allen was in quarantine, he and Kanda had left the Order right around the time the sister would have learned that she was pregnant. And given that neither young man returned to their exorcist duties until after Erika was old enough to be somewhat self-sufficient, her mother had died in childbirth. The new docile relationship the two shared was due partly to Lenalee's meddling, but it was mostly because of the loss of the woman they both loved. Allen and Kanda were getting along and raising the baby together because it was what the sister would have wanted them to do.


End file.
